Trust
“The only wisdom we can hope to acquire is the wisdom of humility”
He wrote it on the blackboard in large letters and underlined it.
“Now who'd like to tell me exactly what old T.S. meant by that”
I sat in the back of the hall, feeling smug. I let a couple of the girls of either sex in the front row struggle with answers before I raised my hand.
“Yes Janice?”
He cocked his head to one side with that quizzical look of his that was so endearing.
“He meant that literally – he was a great believer in humility. Since the rest of the line is “Humility is Endless” I think it was his way of describing our relationship with an infinite being...”
“Were you paying attention at all girl? That is the silliest interpretation I've ever heard...”
He continued describing my stupidity for the next minute or two before proceding to what he really wanted to say. I was stung. hiding my face from the rest of the class. I thought I really had the answer locked up. Last night after a particularly intense game of “professor and coed” where I spent most of the evening with my skirt up around my waist he'd finally tired and lay back on the huge bed. He was snoring in a minute and I rose to clean-up and leave. As I walked by his desk I saw the notebook he taught the class from. Figuring any advantage would help even if I was teacher's pet I looked at his lesson plan for today and saw underlined his “make them think” question with the answer I'd given next to it on a sticky note. I felt like I'd been suckered.
He ended the class (not soon enough for me) and noticed several girls smirking at me. Teacher's pet indeed – they felt like I had gotten taken down a peg. I deserved it and I could see it in their eyes. As we filed out he called “Janice I'll want to see you after office hours today”
I was puzzled – what would he want that was that important about a wrong answer anyway. Couldn't it wait until later when me met at his house? I rolled it around in my mind during the rest of my classes, searching for an answer.
His secretary didn't like me – of that I was sure. I think she suspected our relationship. Anyway she was usually quite rude to me on the few occasions I had to meet him at his office. Today she was competely smiling, friendly. The hairs raised on the back of my neck. Something was wrong. I knew it. She escorted me into his office, actually placing her hand on my back as we enterred the inner sanctum.
“Professor here is that student you wanted to see...”
He looked up over his glasses and smiled. Now I was really worried. It was definitely the cat and canary smile, and I was wearing bright yellow.
“Shut the door Phyllis – but I may want you back in here in a little bit.”
The door closed behind me and he cleared his throat.
“Well last night was a test and I'm sorry to say you've failed...”
“What do you mean?”
I was trying to figure him out.
“Well, Janice, I trusted you. You had access to my lesson plan and there isn't a way in the world you would have come up with that answer on your own. I was surprised, I guess. And I am very disappointed...”
I stared at my toes. I felt like a little kid who was in trouble, and Daddy was mad at me. Oh damn, I remember what used to happen to me when that happened. Daddy had a thick leather belt and he used it when he thought it appropriate. Mom had a hairbrush that she used. I stood there twisting back and forth. Oh god, I hated it when they were disappointed...
“Janice, I don't know if we can continue if I can't trust you...”
I was stunned.
“Please Paul. Oh please. I'll never do it again. I'll do whatever you want to make it up to you...”
He sat, stroking his chin, that thoughtful expression on his face.
I told him about the spankings I'd gotten from my mom and dad when I disappointed them.
“Couldn't you do something like that?”
The idea of being alone after I'd had a relationship with him for over a year was devestating to me. I'd do anything rather than live with that.
He pressed the button on his desk.
“Phyllis would you come in here for a moment?”
I wondered what she would have to do with it. I started to talk but he put his finger up, motioning me to be silent. She came in and shut the door.
“Phyllis I have a little problem with Janice here. It seems that she has broken my trust with her and I'm pretty unhappy. She's made a suggestion about her behavior and I wonder what you think about it.”
I looked back and forth between them, trying to understand.
He described my behavior, not mentioning what had gone before. He ended it...
“And she thinks that maybe a good spanking would straighten her out. What do you think?”
“Well, if I had to say it, girls often benefit from a good spanking to clean up their behavior. But if it was me I'd use my hairbrush on her for half an hour or so. I guarantee you she wouldn't be sitting in that class for a while, and I think she'd remember to mind her p's and q's for a while.”
I looked back and he was nodding.
“So you wouldn't mind helping out with this ?”
I looked back at her.
“Not at all. I'll just take her down to the ladies room and we'll just have a nice little talk, won't we dear”
Her smile was enough to make my want to throw up. I looked back at him and he was nodding again like a bobblehead.
“Yes. yes, I think that's the right answer. Janice, if you want to continue then I think this will be the way. Do you have any questions?”
I couldn't talk. At least I'd be back with him afterwards but I wasn't looking forward to a spanking from Mrs. Greene. She was taller than I by a lot, and bigger. She looked strong – I thought this wouldn't be pleasant at all. And she looked like she would enjoy it. In the end I just nodded.
“Well, you bring in your hairbrush tomorrow...”
“Oh – OK professor. Janice, you'll be here tomorrow night at this time, right?”
I couldn't do anything but nod.
“OK then – see you then.”
I walked out with her – she seemed so bouncy I wanted to choke her. I walked across the street to the little cafe in the student union, feeling nauseated. I had twenty-four hours to wait and I wasn't looking forward to any of them. I was really scared.
I hadn't eaten anything since breakfast, and I knew I had to get something – I hoped it would settle. So I did sit and eat...
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Written from a different perspective - last time I did this it worked out well...
Bookends, run by @caseydamnmorgan is an interesting exercise - given two sentences, write the story between them. Try it sometime... see http://www.caseymorgan.org
