The #Journaling Game 08/18/2010

An Old Lover

I watched you dance,
The joy in your eyes,
The music only you could hear
As your clothes moved in the gentle breeze,
The blissful, swirling colors a storm of passion I'd never know again.

You brought me to this place
Oh beloved,
Our place,
Our passion,
Our joy,
But within I knew
You were far too good
For the likes of me.

A lady for a carpenter,
A queen for a soldier,
I learned the goodness within you could share
Your brilliant mind
Blinding my simple heart
In ectasy I thought must last forever,
But in truth
Could only stay until
The moon turned again.

I gave you everything I had
But it was not enough,
Not enough to hold your interest,
Not against every boy in town.
And when at last you left,
Your laughter skipping down the street behind you
I would have wept
But I couldn't
Because you'd left me such happiness to remember
Until I die.

And so I come
Hidden by the green shelter of gentle leaves
Watching you
Wanting you
Knowing you
And happy beyond words
That I'd ever had you.

That was enough.

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I've not written poetry since I started working on the full-on writing biz. It was a delight

Sensual Stories, January 20, 2010

Hard

We curled together
Our bodies united
So many different ways
She gave herself to me
Willingly, freely
And I took her

She was so young
Had not yet learned
To protect her soul
From life itself
I felt myself her guide
Not that I was much older
But far more tattered
And hard

When we kissed I felt her stir
Her body replied to every thrust
Her soft skin slick under my worn fingers
The wonder of her beauty never tired me
The delight of her soul with everyday things
Brought me joy beyond my cynic's droll view of life

I was careful with her. I touched her soul gently
Never wanting to cause her the hurt that would force her
To become as I, scarred over raw pain
I felt the weight of her heart in my hands
Light, gentle, untouched, innocent

Of course, there came a day when it was not enough
When carefree moments
The joy of unfettered youth
The need to go forward won out.
I knew it would
Someday
I waved adieu and watched her walk down the cobblestones
With a boy I could have killed in a single stroke.

Je t'aime, I thought. Always will, I suppose.
I took a deep breath, wiped my eyes.
Perhaps tonight I'll go out for a beer.

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Submitted to the #journalling game - see http://sensualstories.realaffection.com/

MicroFantasyMonday #63

Dreams II

Your lips beckoned
So red
So smooth
Pursed with desire.
Never did I hold back
I always came
Wanting you
Despite the pain.

I could almost feel the silk of your skin
Slide beneath my fingertips
You writhe with passion
Then slide away, laughing
As I try to claim you
Catching only a wispy touch
Your thighs, perhaps
Your back
Your beautiful golden hair

The sound of your gentle voice
Whispering to my ear
So missing from my life
These long months
But this is my dream
This is where we meet
This is where I can hold you
Once again
I can have you
Until morning's brutal call

The laughter stops
You lay back
Watch me for a moment
As you did
Then your eyes
Your beautiful eyes
Close again
Your body white and cold
I have lost you once more

I wake
There is no trace of your scent
No strands of your hair
No mark of your head on the pillow
You are gone
Again
Forever

------------------------------

This is for MicroFantasyMonday; this week Ang's theme is dreams. I had done an earlier poem on a similar theme previously, although it was not a theme-driven event. This was what the theme of dreams led me to again.

For the earlier version see http://papatomla.blogspot.com/2009/07/sensual-stories-july-21-version.html#links

Shutting Down

Standing apart
In an empty room
The pain was in your eyes
And on your lips
Mere words recording
The passage of love
From now to used-to-be

From passion to apathy
We walked together
Destroying what we built
How we loved
Why we lived
Until there simply
Was nothing left

A world of small things
Done wrong our legacy
Both of us wishing it
Could magically change back
Wiping the tears
We leave the keys
Close the door
And walk to an uncertain life

Love is a flame that should
Never turn cold
But when it does
The agony is far, far greater
Than never having known it at all

Submitted to the #journalling game - see http://sensualstories.realaffection.com/

A little difficult to pick back up again - the holidays, sending the novel out for review, and also got two new novel projects through the outlining phase. Needed to see if I could do it again if I had to.

Merry Christmas to all

MicroFantasy Monday #56

Etiquette

You are cuffed
Retrained to please me
Twisting to escape
The wet touch of my lips on yours
My tongue penetrating
My fingers playing your passion

The etiquette of our evening
That you must not explode
You must hold it in
Arousal be damned
Until I grant you
Release
The consequences are painful
Should you fail

You plead
Beg me to allow you relief
Your satin thighs whisper your desire
Your wetness on my fingertips
Proclaims your readiness
Your back arches
I release your mouth
And capture your breast
Nipple firm with lust

How well I know you
How well I lead you
Your voice
Released from my kiss
Moans its will
I slide down your tummy
And you cry out
For as my mouth senses your moisture
And takes it in
My mind senses and loves your passion's perfume
Breathing you into me

We both know you wont
Withstand my touch
You cannot keep your love inside
You share it
Arousal and release
Poetry of your heart
Your eyes locked shut
Body thrusting
Pleasuring
Through our love

Your eyes barely open
Passion's aftermath
As you look into mine
Lovingly
But your body bucks as you see
Behind me on the wall
The cane

-----------------------------------

I have certainly missed MfM and the other writing pleasures as I struggled with NaNoWriMo. It was a satisfaction to finish, but now I have months of editing and rewriting, though hopefully at a slower pace.

MicroFantasy Monday #51

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MicroFantasyMonday #48

Survival

Your little pink pin
Reminds us all of
The time you lay
A small body
In a huge white bed
Ensnared to the wall
By tubes and wire
The fear you faced alone
No matter how much we were there

Women are strong enough
But you are the strongest of the strong
Fighting to care
To continue
To be the moms and lovers you have always been

You’re missing a curve or two
Here or there
But in our eyes
You are as beautiful as ever
And always will be

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Dedicated to all the victims of breast cancer. Soul mate and I have been lucky in that it has never affected her, but we both know lots of women that it has.

In case you missed it, the National Football League (American football for those elsewhere) allowed players to wear pink in support of National Breast Cancer Awareness month. It was kinda cute to see these big burly lineman and tough defensive backs with pink shoes on. Coach Singletary had a pink brim on his hat.

Micro Fantasy monday #47

Frustration

I thrust
You parry
I explain
You reload
Our thoughts have somehow
Gotten to cross-purposes
Till neither of us
Can listen to the other
But instead prepares
The next arguement
To be skillfully inserted
Where it will cause the most pain

Soulmates we may be
But that doesn't mean
That we
Agree
Forever

But sometimes I wish we did

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Somehow I missed the last few weeks - I kept looking thinking that Ang's blog would come back up, but I think I had a bogus URL and I never saw the new (or rebuilt) blog come up until I noticed that @PandaDementia had a new (in fact several new) MfM's on her blog, tracing down an FFF of hers that I missed. Anyway this should be a little more micro than my usual efforts.

MicroFantasy Monday #44

Others

Do you ever think
While you’re looking up
At all those stars
That are out there
In all that space
Extraterrestrial couples are
Making love and looking
Back and wondering about us.

Do they kiss?
Do they whisper all the things we do to each other?
Do they care passionately?
Do they make dumb mistakes choosing partners?
Do they hold each other with whatever arms they have?

As we lay
Together
Outside
Afterward
Watching the skies
I’m happy
I have you
To share these thoughts

MicroFantasy Monday #43

Passion's Symphony

Your body plays
The sweetest sounds
When you can no longer
Stifle them
And your head flies back
So far in passions grasp
You lose the demure pose
You present to everyone else

For me
And me alone
This voice
This music plays
As love's liquids flow
Down my fingertips
The perfect perfume accompaniment
To the joy in your closing eyes

Your softness twists and turns
As sounds reach a crescendo of
Pleasure
Passion
Love

Gently
Your sounds become
Softer
Softer
Till they are no longer sounds
But the stillness of breath
Waiting for the next symphony

Alone Tonight

Falling
Without limit
It is all within my head
I think
But why does it feel so real
Like there is nothing
To keep me up here

Don't listen to the sirens
They call you
Into a depth of blackness
You didn't know was there
They take you from
Your reality
Into theirs

All that brought you joy
Solarizes to pain
And the pain
To pleasure
Until your sanity
Slowly drips away
Because your not sure
What is good for you
And what is bad

There is a dark side
To us all
And when it can
It comes
Unbidden
Sometimes
Uncontrolled
It is strong enough
To overcome life itself

I'm sane enough to
Go to work tomorrow

I think...

I hope...

MicroFantasy Monday #42

Fighting

Do not ask of me
What you do not want to hear
Simply accept
That you are the one
I have loved others, yes
But none that stir me
As you do

Our words
Our disagreements
Our great fights
These only say
That close as we are
We're not the same

We come back
Together
Slowly
Mending our hearts
Easing our pain
Back to caring
After a time
Holding each other

So do not question me
And I'll not attack you
With my answers

--------------------------------------

This is late - the last few days have been more chaotic than usual, including. as is perhaps obvious
a silly arguement.

1959

I perch on a stool
In the corner
My leather jacket perfect
For a cool Seattle evening
My beret and my goatee
Establish my committment
My buddy on bongos to my left
And my scrawny girlfriend to my right
Wrapped around me to keep away
The surburban matrons who have come to hear
The new beatnik poet

They file in after the art film has
Raised their consciousness
And bored their husbands
Who just want a good martini
Instead of a tamarind
Or fourteen varieties of tea

I wrap myself around an espresso
As foreign to them
As marijuana
And perhaps as needed
The old fat greek who runs the house
Says a few words of introduction
Pops the lights
And I begin
Holding a blank page
For I know everything I will say
By heart

My paean to love
And unbridled sexual coupling
Elicits gasps
From the men
Because they're hoping
And from the women
Because they're feeling
Down deep inside
The knowledge
That it could be better

Scant months before
(For such is the timescale when you're seventeen)
A mature woman
At least thirty
Had snatched my virginity
Casually teaching me what passion
Was truly about
I never forgot her
Though I never knew her real name

I finish
Breathless
And elicit a small applause
Which I am perfectly willing to take
To my heart.
They finish their drinks
And the tiny little pastries
While I drain my
Supercharged coffee
On the house
That was part of the deal
I kick over my Triumph
While they slip into their Country Squires
The men curious
And the women wet
Hoping that somehow
They will be understood

---------------

My thanks to @thepinkpoppet for a chat session in which she reminded me of this era in my life. Yes, I was really there. Then. I wouldn't have missed it for the world...

Sensual Stories - August 19th

Night

Night
A long tunnel
Flashing through
Heading back to you
My week is through
The chains broken
That keep me away
For days on end
Golden chains
But chains none the less.

The ranches slip by, unnoticed
Your face in my mind
Your voice in my ears
The memory of softness from years past was
On my fingertips
As if you were here
In the cockpit with me

Life on the road
Has kept us apart
Way too much
Way too long
Way too often
So now
Though I'm coming to you
I miss you terribly.

Hours together
Refreshing memories
Holding you
Looking through
The window to your soul
And hoping you keep me in your heart
Till I come back
And then it is time

Night
A long tunnel
Flashing through
Away
Wiping my eyes
Your face in my mind
Still

-----------------------

These are submitted to the #journalling game.

See http://sensualstories.realaffection.com/?page_id=546 for other people's work.

Microfantasy Monday #41

Country Girl

Your hands
Are not the soft hands of a model
White hands that caress keyboards
Pampered hands of leisure

Your hands
Have carried babies
Remodeled houses
Planted roses

Your hands
Tanned from building
And golf

Are strong
When you swing a hammer
Lay tile
Cut lumber
Creating something that wasn't there before

Are gentle
When I reach over in the morning
And run my fingers along them
And watch you smile
As you wake

They are beautiful hands
I have loved them all these years

I hope I have many more

MfM #40

Watching

I watch you slowly remove
You silk lace and leather
Your falling clothes
Make me the voyeur
Who wants what cannot be his

Why do you dance in front of
An unshaded window
Showing me breasts
I long to suck
And moist femininity
I long to enter
Knowing that I am here
Tormenting me

I dream of throwing open your door
Pressing you to the floor
And taking you
Having my pleasure
Until I am sated

I sigh
You are a beautiful woman
and I will have to wait
'Til I am older
Than twelve

Sensual Stories - August 4 version

Together

She sat with three girlfriends
Chatting
Ignoring the boys across the room
Where he leaned with his buddies
Watching her smile
Wondering
He strode 'cross the floor
Boots echoing
Hat in his hand
And he asked her to dance

It had been a long morning
Their friends
Family
Had watched while they vowed
To always be there
For each other
They sat at a table
His unaccustomed suit
Next to her new white gown
Listening to toasts
And roasts
Until the music started
And he asked her to dance

Dinner on the table
He had the perfume of cattle
And horses
The baby had cried 'most all day
Their few moments together gone
When the squalling started again
She broke down in tears
He stepped from the room
Returned in a moment
His deep voice quieting the bundle
On his shoulder
He reached for the radio
Turned it up loud
And he asked her to dance

It had been a good year
The ranch had done well
The hands took care of it all
As they stood together on the deck
Half a world away
Watching the moon on the swells
He was used to the tux
And she to her dress
As the music began
The couples all swayed
And he asked her to dance

Saturday night at the Blue Moon Cafe
Is a mixture of beer and snacks
The occasional fight
And lust. Lets not forget lust
As girls stood in groups
And young guys all watched
Coupling together
To the music
Disease had ravaged her body
But her mind was all there
She enjoyed being part of it all
Then the front man announced a favorite song
And the crowds parted
As he wheeled her out on the floor
There were no dry eyes in the room
As he bent over to kiss her forehead
And he asked her to dance

MfM 39

Goodbye

You swept into my life, little one
A submissive in need of a dominant

We played. Played intensely
I forgot all that was bad in my life
You helped me remember the good I lost

When I met you I was angry
Now I am at peace

When I met you I turned my back on love
Now it is centered

When I met you
I was ready to walk away from my soul mate
Because nothing worked
And I didn't see a path to anything ever working again
Now the way is clear
And I have begun to walk it

You were my pleasure
My joy
And though you may have been the bottom
You taught the top
To remember where true happiness was

You needed the answer to a simple question
How could a woman do that to another woman

You have given happiness to her
Though she will never know you
I will
I will be sad forever
That our time couldn't be
And yet happy
That she and I will grow back together
I hope that is enough
Perhaps that is what true submission is

In the end there was no drama
No ceremony
We just

Disengaged

But I will remember you
I will thank you
And I will think of you

Always

MfM #38

Teachers

They were professors, my parents.
Both of them.
Oh, they'd sowed their oats,
He in New York,
She - well, we're not sure
We think South America
Because of all her carvings
And because she'd never speak of it.

So they settled in a small college town
And brought me home to it
The baby who made every faculty party
And was oohed, ahhed, held, and bounced
To everyones satisfaction

But I was born six weeks after our yellow bretheren
Decided, in the words of their commander,
To waken a sleeping giant
Every man Jack was needed
Give up what you had
And come hold whats ours
Ans so they made a warrior of a musician
And a Navy Wife of a Chaucer expert.
I was just along for the ride.

They used him first
Then trained him again
And sent him out over the vast Pacific
I remember when he left
I remember better when he came back
He wasnt the same person

They tried to be teachers again
They truly tried
But after you've rained hell on our enemies
And sent men out to die
Vaporous coeds and hung over frat boys
No longer mattered
Years of not knowing whether he was alive
Left her uncaring of words dead five hundred years

And so he took a different path
And she went with him, arm in arm,
And I - I toddled after them
The other path
Indeed
Made all the difference

Sensual Stories - July 21 version

Dreams

Sleep came hard.
I turned and twisted
all night
until I found my favorite memory
dreaming of silky things,
crossing hot thighs
your scent
your skin
your hair
your cries as I touched you

We played for hours
lovers
with no care but ourselves
Passion - God yes, passion beyond my dreams
and yours as well
till we lay together
exhausted in the wetness of love

Your face - your face, eyes closed
Still
White
So real but

I shook
Came awake with a start
Oh God, not again
I have to wake up
And you will be gone

Forever

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Submitted to the #journalling game - first crack at this